By Bro. Junep Ocampo
Photos by Bro. Mel Malaga
The Brotherhood of Christian Businessmen and Professionals officially launched over the weekend in Calamba, Laguna the BCBP Parenting Course, a new seminar that aims to help BCBP members become good parents.
The launch was hosted by BCBP Calamba West at the Mita’s Kitchen and attended by more than 30 participants from Calamba, San Pablo, Los Baños, and Sta. Cruz — all under the BCBP’s the Southern Tagalog Region.
Bro. Danny Dy, National Service Coordinator for Family, said the BCBP recognizes that parenting is the most important advocacy for its members
“No amount of success in the ministry can compensate for failure in raising the family and bringing one’s offspring to God,” he said.
Bro. Danny and his wife Sis. Lala facilitated the first part of the seminar, providing a solid foundation for the participants whose levels of parenting ranged from basic to advance.
Bro. Danny put a strong emphasis on the word “sanctuary” in describing what parenting’s real objective should be.
He added that parents should strive to create a “sanctuary” or a safe haven for their children where they will always feel accepted and loved and where they can freely grow.
The seminar seeks to help parents “bridge the disconnect” between them and their children.
Majority of the participants have teen-age children. Few say they already have grandchildren and are already experiencing a reversal of roles with their children as they now find themselves depending on them instead of the other way around.
One participant is a virtual single parent as her spouse is a seafarer abroad.
Sis. Lala Dy, for her part, said different stages of parenting require different styles.
She expounded on the different parenting styles — from authoritarian or dictatorial, authoritative or democratic, to the permissive and the uninvolved
She discussed how the parenting style of parents affects their children and how it actually impacts the style the children would have on their own children when they grow up. According to Sis. Lala, parents must know all these styles and strive to strike a healthy balance among them.
Bro. Ian and Sis Anna Fuentez, from BCBP Taguig, meanwhile, spoke on how to listen so children would talk, and how to talk so children would listen.
They discussed the different “love languages” or ways children express their love. These include words, action, touch, and the giving of time and material things. Sis. Anna stressed that understanding these love languages would make it easier for parents to connect with their children regardless of their age.
The hardest part of parenting was reserved for the last part of the seminar. The speaker, Bro. Jun Gacias from Alabang East chapter, talked about compassionate discipline or discipline as taught in the Bible
He said that discipline, to be effective, must begin with conviction or a moral compass, must be consistent and must have a clear message. He also pointed out that punishments must be commensurate to the offense
According to Bro. Jun, the BCBP advocates non-violent discipline, citing studies on the negative effects of spanking on children.
Bro. Danny Dy summed up the seminar by pointing to God as the model parent and as the enabler of parents who loves their children more than they could love them.
He also clarified that though the parents’ role changes over time, being a parent does not really expire.
“We never really cease to be parents even if our children become parents themselves. Our ultimate goal as parents is to lead our children to God. Our greatest joy is to see our children walking through the doors of heaven. Only then can we say that we have been good stewards of the children God entrusted to us,” he said.
The BCBP Parenting Course will be given to other chapters all over the country in the coming months. Those who have attended it are required to cascade the things they learned to other members of their chapter.