This was the question posed to BCBP wives during the BCBP Regional Meeting held in Cebu on February 4 at the Radisson Blu Hotel. The regional ladies forum was attended by Reggie Jimenez, wife of BCBP national president, Nena Villanueva, wife of Cebu RCD, Baby Dauz, wife of Visayas AMD, and representatives from the governance teams of the six BCBP chapters in Cebu.
Each team per chapter was asked to brainstorm on the following queries: What do members expect from the leader’s wife? and, How can I/we support my/our leader spouse in the BCBP? After a lively discussion a representative from each chapter shared the group’s output. We give you a summary of the common answers to these two questions.
On Question 1: What do members expect from the leader’s wife?
— To be punctual and visible in every BCBP activity
— One who communicates to the members (wives) with a personal touch
— To be available in every service as much as possible
— To be the “heart of the community” – one who brings the warmth and maintains the sunny disposition. One who role models the caring system
— To be the role model – in service, dressing and spiritual life
— To implement fair treatment and maintain confidentiality of sensitive issues
— Handle activities for the wives
o To do one-on-one conference with the wives
o Listens to suggestions/inputs/concerns
o Organize group activities
o Bridges gap between leaders and members
On Question 2: How can I/we support my/our leader spouse in BCBP?
— To be the positive force to the husband leader (one who inspires/encourages)
— To be the co-planner and co-organizer of activities handling the micro details
— To be the number 1 supporter and follower of the husband leader
— To be the efficient personal secretary
— Be the intercessor/prayer warrior
— Be a submissive wife. Taking care of the details at home so that he can concentrate on his service
— Give inputs and suggestions to the husband
— Be sensitive to husband’s needs
— Best listener (sounding board)
Reggie Jimenez in the ensuing open forum emphasized that the wife should serve as the best sounding board of the husband; she should be one who encourages and lets him see the joy of service despite the challenges. She should be his enthusiastic supporter but never in an overpowering way.
Citing her experiences in BCBP, she said that the wife should always pray for her husband and respect his decision. Yes, she said, the wife may and should give suggestions/inputs privately but never criticize her husband in public. And, always, always, the wife should strive to improve her prayer life, as well as her personal and family life. One cannot support her husband and/or share with and encourage him and other members if she herself is not whole.
On the concerns about one-on-one sessions between the leader’s wife and each member of the chapter, Reggie stressed that this is the very important avenue wherein members can feel that belong to a community who cares for them. The one-on-ones are best done in an informal way; the invitation should never mention that it’s a one-on-one session. The sister/ate should be made comfortable for her to share her stories and inputs, always remembering that the objective of the one-on-one is to know how she is doing in her prayer life, family life and community life.