by BCBP Editor

This was the question posed to BCBP wives during the BCBP Regional Meeting held in Cebu on February 4 at the Radisson Blu Hotel. The regional ladies forum was attended by Reggie Jimenez, wife of BCBP national president, Nena Villanueva, wife of Cebu RCD, Baby Dauz, wife of Visayas AMD, and representatives from the governance teams of the six BCBP chapters in Cebu.

Each team per chapter was asked to brainstorm on the following queries: What do members expect from the leader’s wife? and, How can I/we support my/our leader spouse in the BCBP? After a lively discussion a representative from each chapter shared the group’s output. We give you a summary of the common answers to these two questions.

On Question 1: What do members expect from the leader’s wife?

— To be punctual and visible in every BCBP activity
— One who communicates to the members (wives) with a personal touch
— To be available in every service as much as possible
— To be the “heart of the community” – one who brings the warmth and maintains the sunny disposition. One who role models the caring system
— To be the role model – in service, dressing and spiritual life
— To implement fair treatment and maintain confidentiality of sensitive issues
— Handle activities for the wives
o To do one-on-one conference with the wives
o Listens to suggestions/inputs/concerns
o Organize group activities
o Bridges gap between leaders and members

On Question 2: How can I/we support my/our leader spouse in BCBP?

— To be the positive force to the husband leader (one who inspires/encourages)
— To be the co-planner and co-organizer of activities handling the micro details
— To be the number 1 supporter and follower of the husband leader
— To be the efficient personal secretary
— Be the intercessor/prayer warrior
— Be a submissive wife. Taking care of the details at home so that he can concentrate on his service
— Give inputs and suggestions to the husband
— Be sensitive to husband’s needs
— Best listener (sounding board)

Reggie Jimenez in the ensuing open forum emphasized that the wife should serve as the best sounding board of the husband; she should be one who encourages and lets him see the joy of service despite the challenges. She should be his enthusiastic supporter but never in an overpowering way.

Citing her experiences in BCBP, she said that the wife should always pray for her husband and respect his decision. Yes, she said, the wife may and should give suggestions/inputs privately but never criticize her husband in public. And, always, always, the wife should strive to improve her prayer life, as well as her personal and family life. One cannot support her husband and/or share with and encourage him and other members if she herself is not whole.

On the concerns about one-on-one sessions between the leader’s wife and each member of the chapter, Reggie stressed that this is the very important avenue wherein members can feel that belong to a community who cares for them. The one-on-ones are best done in an informal way; the invitation should never mention that it’s a one-on-one session. The sister/ate should be made comfortable for her to share her stories and inputs, always remembering that the objective of the one-on-one is to know how she is doing in her prayer life, family life and community life.

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Vivian R. Molina - BCBP Zamboanga City Chapter June 1, 2013 - 5:32 pm

The bible specifically presented two roles of women – the role of Martha and the role of Mary. As a wife of a BCBP leader, these two roles should converge and be exemplified not only in the organization, but more so in the testimony of the wife’s life. The wife of the leader should be the number prayer warrior for her spouse and she should also be the number one support in all of the BCBP activities.

Sis Nenette De Jesus-Hamoy-BCBP Gensan March 29, 2012 - 11:31 am

It is good to know other’s expectations of us (as wife of a BCBP Leader). Thanks for this article. The more challenging part is how to meet them.

Maybe it is important to remember that we cannot give what we do not have. We may be able to project an ideal leader’s wife image yet the the real us inside will manifest itself in a spur of time. In these (what we call) “moments of truth” that we become vulnerable to failing other’s expectations of us.

Meeting other’s expectations is secondary to meeting God’s expectations of us. Be beautiful inside out. The rest will follow.

Maria Corazon B. Navera March 14, 2012 - 3:58 pm

Thanks for this article. While we simply observe or be silent regarding our expectations, this article clearly articulates what we BCBP members expect from a leader’s wife. We look upon our leaders as role models in the BCBP’s call to evangelization, and the wives just as well plays a big role in carrying out the servant leadership required for in attaining the BCBP Mission.

Praise God for the sharing of our BCBP National President wife Sis. Reggie Jimenez, truly a model leader’s wife.


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